google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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