I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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