new low.... made out with someone while peeing
where does the pee come out of this thing
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize