Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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