im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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