I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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