I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
