I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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