With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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