Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
