i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
no, he came in my armpit
they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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