i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
