Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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