I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
