sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
