I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
