I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
