talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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