Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
