I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
