did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you had me at cake vodka
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
