that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
