If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?