Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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  (858): I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal http://tfl.nu/7yck
  Replies (8) Good night (2098) Bad night (685)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.

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  (817): Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks. http://tfl.nu/ubnm
  Replies (17) Good night (573) Bad night (2671)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

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  (425): You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option. http://tfl.nu/ipw1
  Replies (34) Good night (10209) Bad night (805)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

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  (612): I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm http://tfl.nu/twuk
  Replies (21) Good night (3709) Bad night (4509)
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  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (1077) Bad night (7929)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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  (360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r
  Replies (12) Good night (4572) Bad night (766)
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  (619): View more from California

  Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.

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  (619): Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser. http://tfl.nu/agjn
  Replies (33) Good night (3670) Bad night (1544)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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  (206): Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me. http://tfl.nu/s5ld
  Replies (8) Good night (3369) Bad night (1146)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.

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  (317): On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high. http://tfl.nu/5g1g
  Replies (3) Good night (2441) Bad night (971)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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  (412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car. http://tfl.nu/qdlm
  Replies (9) Good night (2184) Bad night (766)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes

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  (334): If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes http://tfl.nu/khy3
  Replies (7) Good night (2337) Bad night (853)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time

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  (717): just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time http://tfl.nu/oodw
  Replies (4) Good night (1899) Bad night (636)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum

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  (860): i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum http://tfl.nu/egi2
  Replies (10) Good night (3027) Bad night (810)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.

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  (575): Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/2cr4
  Replies (6) Good night (1268) Bad night (336)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.

  (779): View more from Illinois

  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.

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  (402): Dude, I have everything I need for meth here. (779): YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT. http://tfl.nu/5fhr
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (636)

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