Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(415): View more from California

we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one http://tfl.nu/7sll

Replies (16) Good night (1064) Bad night (622)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

(847): View more from Illinois

And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

(319): View more from Iowa

At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0

Replies (32) Good night (4647) Bad night (794)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

That's cool how's he been?

(404): View more from Georgia

He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): That's cool how's he been? (404): He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much. http://tfl.nu/1kie

Replies (6) Good night (4837) Bad night (2087)
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co

Replies (11) Good night (5059) Bad night (1275)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me http://tfl.nu/mntk

Replies (16) Good night (1139) Bad night (4971)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't. http://tfl.nu/avqq

Replies (5) Good night (2734) Bad night (912)
Favorite
(231): View more from Michigan

His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(231): His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots. http://tfl.nu/wxgc

Replies (6) Good night (3930) Bad night (919)
Favorite
(218): View more from Minnesota

i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(218): i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me http://tfl.nu/gpjb

Replies (19) Good night (1470) Bad night (5354)
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44

Replies (7) Good night (3044) Bad night (1393)
Favorite
(808): View more from Hawaii

I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy

Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (1699)
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf

Replies (8) Good night (1065) Bad night (1716)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall. http://tfl.nu/bycp

Replies (17) Good night (1711) Bad night (786)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away... http://tfl.nu/ltxy

Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (517)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?! http://tfl.nu/4qzs

Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (352)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again. http://tfl.nu/l988

Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (253)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard