So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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