I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize