Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize