the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
