Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
