I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
