so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this beer tastes like vomit already
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
