This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
