I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
