Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
