I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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