i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
