Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
