i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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