We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it because I queefed?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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