I hate all girls vehemently.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
