why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
