You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
