we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
