I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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