Pappa wants mamma naked
Screwed.edu
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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