My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
