You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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