were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
