Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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