No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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