So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
