I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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