You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize