i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
