Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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