chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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