you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
