Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
