The brown eye won't let me do that either.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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