So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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