im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
