3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize