Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
