need another drink. this is the easiest way
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
