Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
