Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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