There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
