We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
