I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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